The Last Dance (II)

It’s one-two-three
And suddenly
I see it at a glance -

At the Deathwood Tree, the prevailing mood was sombre that morning.

The Tree stood tall in one corner, its silver bark and hanging branches arced over more than half of the clearing. A large crowd had already gathered by the time the sun was high, jostling and pressing against the stakes that fenced off an inner circle - the dueling area. The king's throne was brought out and placed under the Tree, and a hush fell over the crowd as the trumpeter blew a salute.

"The High King Jardeleth and Princess Stelmaryn!"

The crowd parted and fell to their knees as the king and his unicorn strode to take their seat. Stelmaryn followed close behind, trembling slightly as she wove her way through the crowd. She noticed that the crowd was made up of not only Elves, but also the occasional human. Nephamael constantly directed disapproving stares at her, and she averted her gaze. In her haste she nearly tripped over the roots of the Tree, and the leopard glided to steady her on the other side.

"Hear ye, that today we have Jerael of the Neralode demanding trial by combat! The Neralode claims innocence of treachery to the High King! Princess Stelmaryn will stand for the King and Neralode for himself!"

Stelmaryn hugged Nephamael, blinking back tears, hot salty drops that the snow leopard gently brushed away with a paw. The daemon let her hold him awhile, then stepped back and surveyed her with his large amber eyes.

The Elf princess was clad in a simple tunic and leggings. She wore soft boots upon her feet and the only armour she had were arm and leg greaves, emblazoned with the royal crest. She also wore light chain mail under her tunic, and a long dark-green cloak completed the look. Astarael hung by her side, crystal softly glimmering, and at her hip was another smaller dagger. Her father would leave nothing to chance. He would have had her wear a helmet, if not for the fact that the irritating coronet had to be worn even for such a duel. She had accepted a ruby-studded bracelet though, each crystal charged with extra power for use in sorcery.

Stelmaryn drew Astarael and handed the scabbard to Nephamael, brushing back more tears that threatened to fall over her cheeks. The leopard nuzzled up to her and gently licked her face. All this while, Jerael had been led out to the circle, and he armed himself similarly. A page handed him his sword Garscent - Elvish for Blizzard. Nephamael relaxed slightly.

"It's not even ensorcelled steel. Astarael will chop him to ribbons."

Stelmaryn wasn't listening. She was concentrating, falling into a world where nothing else mattered except her and Jerael. And their two swords.

The crowd roared as the Princess of the Elves stepped out into the arena.

***

She’s radiant
And confident
And born to take this chance.

Jerael raised Garscent in a mocking salute. Stelmaryn had no retort save a low growl, a feral snarl that seemed to break something within him. Without warning, Jerael charged.He swung Garscent in a crescent that threatened to cleave Stelmaryn at the waist. She jumped back, then brought Astarael down in a punishing blow that crashed upon Garscent and sent tremors rippling through its wielder's arm.

Jerael backed off, bewilderment showing in those dreamy eyes. That one moment of distraction was enough to cost Stelmaryn, and her opponent suddenly lunged forward. She parried awkwardly as Jerael brought his sword down hard upon her. The clash of steel rang about the clearing, echoing away in the silence as they separated, circling each other warily.

Impulsive by nature, the princess suddenly leapt towards her opponent, but Jerael was ready. He executed a perfect stop-block, as Stelmaryn struggled to cleave his sword with Astarael. Their faces were almost touching each other, and beads of sweat began to fall to the ground.

"I thought you told me something last night? Something about.. oh, love? And how much I meant to you?"

Jerael's whisper was innocently layered with honey. With a quick twist of the blade, he pushed Stelmaryn to the opposite side of the arena, and she stumbled, falling to one knee. Anger like she had never experienced before coursed through her. Without second thought, she raised her hand and made a throwing motion at her opponent.

"Mithro!"

The spell formed a violet ring of fire that flung itself at Jerael. The older Elf's eyes widened and he fumbled for his magic, barely casting a shield in time. The colliding of both magics resulted in a blinding flash of light, which Stelmaryn quickly took advantage of.

"Telsa! Lorni! Quaro!"

As a swarm of golden blades flashed towards Jerael, Stelmaryn swung Astarael.

"Ne'ra!"

Jerael brought Garscent up in a strong parry that sent Astarael thudding harmlessly into the ground. His spell threw up a wall of blue ice, sending the golden blades rebounding back towards the princess. Stelmaryn moaned in frustration as she dug Astarael back out from the ground. Then she made a deft motion with her hand, destroying the spell and absorbing what energy she could salvage.

"Temna!"
"Chira!"

A bolt of blue energy punched towards Stelmaryn as a violet one streaked in the opposite direction. Both Elves fumbled for the strongest shielding spells they knew. While Stelmaryn's absorbed the bolt; Jerael's not only absorbed it, but reflected it back. The princess ducked, wincing as a loud explosion rent the air and a hole appeared in the boundary fence where there was none before.

"Resmar!"

Jerael followed up with a swift attack of hail that pelted Stelmaryn on all sides. She passed her hand in front of her face to form a shield, then lifted Astarael and charged again.

"Ne'ra!"

Stelmaryn crashed into the wall of ice and fell again, dazed. She shook her head to clear her senses and saw Jerael pounding towards her, sword raised.

"Arrathelima Rhodir!"

The complex spell left her, and Jerael was thrown backwards. Garscent was flung into the far corner, where it stood upright, quivering in the ground. Stelmaryn was up and on him in a heartbeat, bringing Astarael up for the killing blow.

And stopped.

***

I taught her well
I planned it all
I just forgot -
Romance!

As she looked down upon her opponent, all she saw was the Jerael she loved. The Jerael who she dreamt would hold her, and kiss her, and make everything perfect in her life. Remorse filled her heart and Astarael wavered.

Astarael, High Elven for fidelity in love. And representative of Death himself.

She let the sword drop as the crowd gasped. It thudded harmlessly into the earth by Jerael's head.

But her senses screamed a warning, and she instinctively threw herself to the ground. The commotion in the crowd had not been for her almost-victory. A Dwarf had run through the hole in the perimeter, into the arena, defying all commands to halt.

He was wielding a great battleaxe.

"Telsa! Lorni! Quaro!"

Stelmaryn sent the golden blades flying towards him as she dove for Astarael - but Jerael was quicker. He tugged the sword free and faced her, double-bladed. Garscent hovered dangerously near, and she took a step back. Behind her, the Dwarf had parried the blades and was advancing upon the Elves.

Both charged at the same time.

"What quarrel do you have with me?!"
Stelmaryn cried out as two swords and a battleaxe descended upon her. The axe thudded into the wooden fence as she parried the sword slashes with her arm greaves. As the Dwarf struggled to free his weapon, she unceremoniously punched him in the face, then spun around and dealt a roundhouse kick to Jerael's jaw.

He staggered back, and Stelmaryn followed with a set of punishing blows - left hook, right hook, a double punch straight to the solar plexus, and a final scissor that dropped him. Stelmaryn took Astarael back from his unresisting hand, then used Garscent to pin his tunic to the ground.

"Ze'rael," she murmured, and violet links fell upon her foe, effectively immobilising him as he glared murderously up at her. Then his eyes widened. Stelmaryn felt nothing but the sharpest of pain as the Dwarf swung his axe and caught her full in the back. The mail turned the blade, but the impact sent her tumbling to the ground, crying out in pain.

"What.. is your.. quarrel.. with me.." Stelmaryn was gasping for breath as her fingers sketched runes for recovery and strength over her chest.

"Can you not see I am hurt enough alr-"

Apparently it was the wrong thing to say. The Dwarf swung the axe again, slicing off part of the Elf's cloak as she attempted to leap away. No blade, not even ensorcelled steel, would stand a chance against a heavy axe. Stelmaryn had to avoid a confrontation at all costs.

"You think you feel bad? How about a Dwarf, who tries so hard to change in order to get the girl he likes, only to find out that she wanted someone else? And that she lied, gods, she LIED, when she loved the Oracle? You never thought for another’s feelings, did you? Or was your whole life just about the Oracle and your precious Jerael?"

Stelmaryn’s mind went numb as the dwarf, face livid with anger, disengaged his axeblade and swung it at her again.

"No girl is gonna like that guy, eh, especially the little elf princess, after seeing all the bad things that he has done?"

Then it clicked.

Yrakka.

The dwarf had been imprisoned by her father, and she had been the one who had tracked his blundering path through the forest and brought him back. To face justice for slaying an innocent peasant. Back then his familiar had been an albino mole. But now...

Whatever dark magic he had used to change its form had warped his mind.

"I’m going to take you now by force! After all, you don’t have your precious Jerael, or your Oracle, any more, do you?"

"How did you know about.."

"There’s nothing you can keep from me now, Princess."

Was he mocking her?

"Either that, or you shall never live to love again."

Stelmaryn parried awkwardly. She felt detached from her sword. It was parrying, it was riposting, it was thrusting, but she thought nothing. Felt nothing. Heard nothing.

All that echoed in her mind was the thought of the Oracle and Jerael. The only two people she had ever loved more than Nephamael.

And so it was that she never noticed the breaking of her binding spell, nor heard Jerael as he sprang up behind her and drove his blade straight into her side.

***

How could you do this
How will we get through this
I never should have let them dance!

It was over.

Blood stained the field of combat, the site of the last dance of death.

The dwarf had long since left, for even he was unwilling to watch as Jerael took out his anger on the fallen princess, kicking her in the back, in the stomach, in the face, as she writhed and cried out, blood flowing out over her body, onto his boots... The crowd accepted the judgement, and drifted away. Yet Jerael didn't stop, continuing to beat the princess with the flat of his blade. No ears save that of the unconscious Stelmaryn were close enough to hear his words.

"Love? You loved me? Ah, fool that you were!"

The king bit his lip until it bled, and the unicorn bowed her head. Neither dared to look as Jerael used his bloody sword to lift the coronet from Stelmaryn's head and flung it away contemptuously.

3DSMax

Narita

The Pirate Lord of the Rings: The Return of Jack Sparrow

Gandalf Greyhame, noted wizard, discovered that a certain Frodo Baggins of the Shire was in possession of a Great Ring of Power. Acting upon his advice, Frodo set off on a Quest to destroy the One Ring, picking up enough to complement a Fellowship of Nine from Rivendell.

Meanwhile, pirate captain Jack Sparrow plunged over the great waterfall at World’s End, only to discover that his crew had been reduced to nothing but dead men in boats. Depressed, he tacked the Pearl round and brought her into a sheltered cove by that waterfall, the Rauros. He trekked across swamp and marshland, across green plains and rocky road, until, teeth chattering, he tumbled into a snowy cave by the Pass of Caradhras and fell asleep.

He awoke five hours later to find a company of four – no, five – shorties, a blonde sissy, an old man, and two young men, all staring down at him.

At Caradhras
Aragorn: *explains about why they must destroy the Ring*
Gimli: *hefts ax* So are you with us, or against us?
Legolas: You must choose now!
Jack: Er…

Aragorn: Why should we trust you to help us?
Jack: Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
Boromir: Okay, you’re in.
Jack: Something just like that.

Gimli: [aside to Legolas] I don’t like this. I don’t trust him one bit.
Jack: You mistrust me? Listen, you can mistrust him, trust me.
Jack: *points to Boromir*
Boromir: *shifts uncomfortably*

Caradhras: *throws lots of snow at them*
Gimli: If we can’t go over the mountain… let’s go under it.

Mines of Moria
Fellowship: *opens doors of Moria*
Pippin: *throws stone in water*
Water: *ripples*
Jack: Perhaps this isn’t a good time to tell you a huge sea beast is after me?
Boromir: So if we let it eat you, it’ll spare us?
Legolas: Shut up.
Aragorn: For the good of the Fellowship, we must bind you here.
Aragorn: *chains Jack to the rock*
Jack: Pirate.
Aragorn: Ranger, actually.

Merry: *burns off a few of the Watcherkraken’s tentacles* Did we kill it?
Pippin: No… I think we just made it angry.

Watcherkraken: ROARRRR
Jack: *covered in mucus* Not so bad…
Jack: *wipes the mucus from his face*
Jack: *sees his hat in Watcherkraken’s mouth*
Jack: *puts on his hat with pride*
Jack: ‘Ello, beastie.
Jack: *smiles and draws his sword*
Sauron: *sees the whole incident in the palantir*
Sauron: Our debt will be settled soon.

Watcherkraken: *drags Jack off to Sauron*

Sauron: *dangles Jack over the pit full of Orcs*
Sauron: Do you fear death?
Jack: You have no idea.

Sauron: Lower the prisoner!
Jack: *descends towards waiting Orcs*
Jack: Goodbye, beastie.
Watcherkraken: *tentacles Sauron’s arm*
Watcherkraken: [sotto voce] He might do more harm helping the Fellowship than if they were without him.
Sauron: I’ve changed my mind. Take him down to the cells.

Warg: *holds ring of keys in mouth*
Warg: *watches Jack and growls*
Jack: *holds out bone*
Jack: Here doggy, here doggy doggy… bring the keys, good doggy…
Warg: *sits there and refuses to move*
Jack: *hurls bone at the floor*
Jack: Stupid mangy cur, you-
Warg: *hurls self at the bars, growling and snapping jaws*
Jack: Good doggy gooddoggygooddoggy!!
Keys: *slide down Warg’s throat*

Sauron: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Legolas: [quickly] Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Sauron: What is your purpose here?
Legolas: Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Sauron: *laughs* Did he, now? I’m sorely tempted to accept that offer.

Legolas: I can get you out of here.
Jack: How?
Legolas: Where’s the key?
Jack: *points*
Warg: *growls and picks teeth*
Legolas: Oh noo…

Meanwhile…
Aragorn: Jack! We need you back something fierce!
Gimli: The Nine are now horsed on fell beasts!
Legolas: Gandalf has fallen into the Shadow in Moria!
Boromir: Sauron’s malice is about to be unleashed!
Jack: I leave you people alone for just a minute. Look what happens, everything’s gone to pot!

Amon Hen
Uruk-hai: RAHHHHH.
Jack: *leaps up on the Seeing Seat*
Jack: Gentlemen, you will remember this as the day you almost caught Ja-
Jack: *falls back off the Seeing Seat*
Uruk-hai: *slay Boromir and make off with hobbits*

Aragorn: [in imitation of Jack] I leave you alone with two hobbits and Boromir for just a minute. Look what happens, everything’s gone to pot!

Drinking Game In Rohan
Old man: The die is cast. I bid three twos.

Aftermath of Drinking Game In Rohan
Jack: *sits up and stares at empty barrels*
Jack: Why is all the rum gone?
Jack: *stands up and staggers drunkenly*
Jack: Oh… that’s why.

Wild Men
Jack: ‘Scuse me, but you wouldn’t happen to have seen my friend Legolas about?
Wild Men: *grunt in a puzzled manner*
Jack: Well… Lum se se, eunuchy. Snip snip?

Legolas: What about Jack? I can’t leave without him!
Legolas: *turns and sees Jack chased by the Wild Men*
Legolas: Time to go, Aragorn.

Helm’s Deep
Gimli: *sits on dead Orc*
Gimli: Forty-two!
Legolas: *draws bow and shoots the Orc Gimli is sitting on*
Legolas: Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead!
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he had my ax in him!
Gimli: *moves ax to prove his point and Orc twitches again*
Gimli: See, I told y-
*Gunshot*
Jack: Don’t argue, ladies.
Jack: *beheads Orc*
Jack: But Legolas was right – he was still twitching.
Jack: *sheathes blade*
Jack: Forty-four.

After Helm’s Deep
Jack: *walks onto the balcony in Edoras*
Legolas: *turns to look at Jack as he leans on the rail next to Legolas*
Jack: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.
Legolas: Sauron’s presence is growing.

Sam: *throws Elven-cloak over him and Frodo*
Easterling 1: Now we’re being followed by rocks.
Easterling 2: Never had that before.
Easterling 3: Stop it, you sound like that crazy pirate captain.

The Corsairs of Umbar
Jack: Okay, now we stand here and stop the ships.
Aragorn: This better work.
Jack: I’ve captained an undead crew before. Your whole band isn’t any different.
Corsairs: *sail up the river slowly*
Legolas: [whispers] This is either madness… or brilliance.
Jack: It’s remarkable how often these two traits coincide.

Aragorn: You will go no further. You will not enter Gondor.
Corsairs: Who are you to deny us passage?
Aragorn: Legolas, fire a warning shot past the bosun’s ear.
Gimli: Mind your shot.
Legolas: *draws bow*
Gimli: *nudges bottom of the bow*
Jack: *nudges top of the bow*
Arrow: *falls dismally in the water*
Legolas: *blushes*
Jack: Let me handle that, darling.
Jack: *fires pistol and kills two corsairs*
Aragorn: You weren’t supposed to kill them. It’s a warning shot.
Jack: *about to shoot Aragorn but turns back towards the ship*
Jack: This shot isn’t meant for you.
Jack: *fires pistol and kills corsair captain*
Gimli: Right, that’s it. We warned you. Prepare to be boarded.
Corsairs: Boarded? By you and what army?
Aragorn: This army.
Army of the Dead: *CHARGE!*

Gimli: Why do you get to steer the ship?
Legolas: *dreamily* because he’s a pirate.
Gimli: I thought we were supposed to kill all the pirates?
Gimli: *hefts ax*
Jack: Actually, you killed the corsairs. Cor. Sair. I’m a PIRATE, savvy?
Aragorn: That actually makes sense.

Gimli: So let me steer the ship now!
Aragorn: But I want to steer the ship now.
Gimli: *charges at the wheel to gain control of it*
Aragorn: *charges at the wheel to gain control of it*
Legolas: *charges at the wheel to protect Jack*
Jack: *spins the wheel and sets all three high up in the masts*
Jack: Now as long as you three are up there, pay attention -
Aragorn: You’re not playing by the rules.
Jack: The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. You didn’t play by the rules when you woke up that whole army back there, did you? And me, for example. I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Gondor all by me ownsies, savvy? So can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

Legolas: *falls into water*
Legolas: Help!
Jack: *looks at Gimli* can you swim?
Gimli: *dumbly shakes head*
Jack: *looks at Aragorn* can you swim?
Aragorn: I doubt the doggy paddle counts?
Jack: You’re insults to the Fellowship, both of you.

Jack: *thrusts hat at Gimli*
Jack: *thrusts sword and compass at Aragorn*
Jack: *dives in and rescues Legolas*
Legolas: [thinks] mouth to mouth resuscitation…
Legolas: *opens eyes suddenly to find a fish on his face*
Aragorn: I never knew you could do that.
Jack: Clearly you’ve never been to Rohan.

Legolas: *shoots mumakil*
Legolas: *looks pro*
Gimli: That still counts as one!
Jack: He’s too pro. Now where’s that monkey? I need to shoot something.

Jack: *chases monkey across battlefield*
Mumakil: *trumpet* *bellow*
Haradrim: *yell*
Battlefield: *crash* *bang*
Jack: *unaware that he trips up five mumakil as he chases the monkey*
Gimli: That… still counts as five.

Jack: *chases monkey through the forest*
Monkey: *runs up tree*
Jack: *reaches the base of tree*
Ent: *looks down at Jack with monkey in branches*

Sauron: [to Watcherkraken] They know they face extinction. All that remains is where they make their final stand.
Watcherkraken: *points tentacle at Black Gate*
Sauron: I know.

Jack: We must fight, to run away!
Aragorn: No, we will fight for the good of all Middle-Earth!
Jack: But we won’t be killed in that fight, will we?
Aragorn: No…
Jack: *wearily* So we ARE fighting, to run away.

Aragorn: Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers!
Men: *silence*
Aragorn: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West! Are you all with me?
Men: Yo ho, all together, hoist the Colours high; Men of Rohan and Men of Gondor, never say we die.

Banner of the White Tree: *is raised by thousands of Gondoreans*
Banner of the Silver Swan: *is raised by thousands of those from Dol Amroth*
Banner of the White Horse: *is raised by thousands of Rohirrim*
Banner with skull and crossbones: *is raised by one solitary Jack Sparrow*

Aragorn: There’s not been a gathering like this in all our lifetime.
Jack: And I owe them all money.

Mouth of Sauron: Parlay!
Aragorn: We’re here to fight, not to talk. I’ll slay.. who was it who invented that word anyway?
Jack: Er, that would be the French.

Mouth of Sauron: You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender, in which case only most of you will die.

Aragorn: *fondles the Evenstar lovingly*
Jack: You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: capturing a ship of the Corsairs’, sailing with an undead crew out of Dunharrow, and you’re completely obsessed with shiny treasure.

Gimli: [aside to Legolas] Do not make the mistake in believing that you’re the only one who cares for Jack.

Jack: You may kill me but never insult me! Now, who am I?
Orc: *stops in mid-swing and blinks, puzzled*
Jack: [weakly] I’m Captain Jack Sparrow…
Orc: *blinks, puzzled*
Jack: *stabs orc and runs away*

Fellowship: *gets totally whacked up by lots and lots and lots of orcs*
Cracks of Doom: *spit lava and bits of molten Ring everywhere*
Sauron’s army: *runs*
Sauron’s lighthouse: *crumbles*
Everyone else: *cheers*

Back in Minas Tirith
Jack: Legolas, you may throw my hat.
Legolas: *throws Jack’s hat into the air with everyone else’s to celebrate the victory over Sauron*
Jack: Now, you go get it.

Hobbits become ringbearers for weddings
Aragorn: *kisses Arwen*
Will: *kisses Elizabeth*
Faramir: *kisses Eowyn*
Jack: Ooh weddings. I love weddings.

At the Port
Jack: *flourish* Come, ladies and gents, all aboard the Black Pearl for the undying lands!
Elrond: It’s real!
Gandalf: So you actually were telling the truth.
Jack: *eyes closed* I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Aragorn: With good reason.

Bilbo: That thing… that’s what we’re sailing on to the Undying Lands?
Jack: *looks at crude Orc-raft*
Jack: This is not my vessel. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and gone. Why is it gone?

Legolas: *argues with Gimli*
Gimli: *quarrels with Legolas*
Jack: Ladies, will you please shut it and listen to me!
Jack: [to Legolas] You can’t shoot for nuts.
Jack: [to Gimli] You’re short and fat.
Jack: [to Legolas] Your hair is so sissy.
Jack: [to Gimli] I killed two of the orcs you claimed to have killed.
Jack: And all this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship.. is once again gone. Savvy?

Gimli: *slaps Jack*
Legolas: *slaps Jack*
Both: *stalk off*
Jack: *slaps Aragorn*
Jack: *pushes Aragorn into the water*
Jack: Paddle out and fetch it back.

Jack: All passengers for Valinor, all aboard the Black Pearl!
Elves and two hobbits: *file up the gangplank*
Jack: Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

The great ship unfurled its sails and headed off into the sunset, as the hobbits watched from the pier. Suddenly, there was a green flash of light, and the Elves were never seen in Middle-Earth ever again. But of Jack Sparrow.. ah, that is another story altogether.

9V-747

LP747

7:37